Hello from Punchdrunkland. It’s been one of those weeks, you know? So busy doing…what exactly? I don’t even know, and I can’t think above this crazy din in my head that sounds like an old window air conditioner, a banging rattle and hum churning out thoughts in a jumble that looks like this:
Target and Whole Foods. Forgot Gluten-Free nuggets, have to go back. Out of Windex. Volunteer parent backed out of activity because her kid has pink eye. Need sitter for that now, also for chaperoning field trip Thursday. Remember to dress boy warmly, have been advised to feed him hearty breakfast. Right. Woman coming for Diaper Genie on Craig’s list is 2:30 okay? Need supplies for class project. Shower, no time to dry hair. Or eat. Speech therapy. Try to do breakfast dishes before I start dinner, get halfway done and get distracted by text message. GAH it’s from AT&T. Need to get sister birthday present. Friend invites me for lunch. But there’s no time! There’s. No. Time. Must return too-small clothes to Old Navy and arrange travel-size toiletries for flying with children on Friday. Oh, God, Friday. Must download Dora onto iPad. And Blue’s Clues and Wonderpets. Arrgh. Remember charger. And camera. Must do load of laundry. Leave list for Scott of things to do, arrange transportation from airport. Remember to tell them I need car seats. What am I going to wear during this trip? Also Kai. Also Ryan. Must pack nebulizer. Don’t forget epi-pen. Must buy gift card for Teacher’s Assistant’s birthday. Why won’t Ryan take a freaking nap? Answer 67 e-mails from class about the gift for the teacher’s assistant. Call airline. Check forecast. Must try on shoes that have been sitting in their UPS box since Tuesday. Also find toddler seat attachment for high chair and run half marathon.
:::
I was hoping for a little peace yesterday, but Ryan confused nap time with screaming practice. I thought I’d try again after I picked up Kai, but then the phone rang and it was the customer service woman from Dell calling back about my battery light that blinks four ambers and a white indicating some mysterious ailment she called a bad bios, and while I was on hold for that, there was a knock at the door and the Jehovah’s Witnesses were there. Either that or they were Mormons, but I think Mormons wear dark suits and this guy’s suit was green and underneath he was wearing a green and white argyle sweater. The kids were screaming and there was popcorn everywhere and I was on the phone so I told the guy that it wasn’t a good time.
“That’s okay,” he said. “I’ll come back.”
So I’ve got that to look forward to. For some reason, I can’t be rude to those guys, even though there’s not a chance in Hell I’ll ever become a Jehovah’s Witness, because oh, my God, you guys, where would I ever find the time?