In which I draw you a picture

I noted last week that my children have been particularly difficult lately.

I don’t think that’s all that unusual given that it’s January and we have to stay inside, not to mention the post-holiday metaphorical hangover combined with the start of school.

Ryan cries all the time. She just cries. All of the time.

“iPad,” she wails.

“Crying babies don’t get to play with the iPad,” I say.

“iPaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad!”

This is why I didn’t notice right away that she had been hurt.

Ryan and Kai were tussling over something. I don’t know what because I was trying to get my Perez Hilton on after a long day of child wrangling. Ryan ended up in tears, but then, she’s always in tears these days.

“Kai, what did you do?” I asked.

This, of course, is a rhetorical question. I didn’t even get up to investigate. The crying eventually stopped and we all went about our business.

Later, when the kids were in the tub, I noticed a mark on Ryan’s arm.

It was a perfect impression of Kai’s teeth.

I turned on the boy.

“Did you bite your sister?” I asked.

Kai laughed. He actually laughed.  “Bite your sister,” he repeated.

I hauled him out of the tub and into a time-out, not because it would do any good, but because I was mad at him.

“If you bite your sister, I’m taking away your marble rollercoaster.” This was his big Christmas present:

Exhibit A, the precious, precious marble roller coaster. Ryan thought that her baby might enjoy taking a nap on it. That only happened once, let me tell you.

The threat wiped the smile right off his face.

“No!” he cried. “Marble rollercoaster!”

“Yes. If you bite your sister, I’m taking away your marble rollercoaster.”

Kai dissolved into tears on the floor. The problem was that he understood I was taking away his toy. He did not, however, seem to comprehend why.

“Say you’re sorry to Ryan,” I said.

“No! Marble rollercoaster!”

Later, after everyone had calmed down, I drew the following chart.

 

“If you bite your sister,” I said, pointing to the picture, “Mommy is…”

“Mad!” Kai finished brightly.

“Yes, and when Mommy is mad, she will take away your…”

“Marble rollercoaster!”

“Very good,” I said. “Let’s go over it one more time.”

:::

I later had to add to the chart:

If you poke me:

If you hit me:

If you shove me:

And we all lived happily ever after.

Except that we didn’t and I am now the proud owner of my very own marble rollercoaster. Let me know if you want to come over and play with it, because I’m not sure Kai will ever get the chance again.

Hey. It’s not like I didn’t warn him.

:::

I got a text from Kai’s teacher later in the week. Kai had thrown some ice on the playground and given his friend a bruise.

I’m friends with the little girl’s mother. We talked about it as we were waiting in the biting wind for the kids to line up for pick-up.

“I’m sorry about that,” I said to her.

“Oh, don’t worry about it,” she replied. “I’m sure she’s fine.”

But as the kids emerged and I saw the little girl in person, I was horrified. This was no bruise.

She had a shiner. A black eye and an angry cut along her soft pink cheek.

“Oh, no,” I said when I saw her.

The little girl ran to her mother. She seemed okay. She was at least smiling.

“I hope you don’t have anything going on this weekend,” I said to them.

“Just her brother’s baptism," she said brightly. "I’ll just use a little make-up. It’s no big deal.”

But it is a big deal. It’s a very big deal.

When you give Mary Jane a black eye:

Mommy is mad.

But she doesn’t know what to do to make the message hit home. I’m tired. I’m sick of being punched and bitten and kicked.

And I don’t know how to draw a picture of my infinite despair.

Oh, wait.

Yes, I do.

Comments

[www.momintwocultures.com]

If it makes you feel any better, we've been there...It gets a little easier as they get older.

[John]

I like the way you handle life with kids{bitting hitting} also your art work is the great