One thing we learned in quarantine is that time is relative, so who cares if I publish my Friday post on Monday? The only problem is that Mondays tend to not spark a ton of joy.
But that’s okay! I am here to provide you with the proper edutainment tools for procrastination and time waisting.
First, some updates.
I told you about the virtual ramen cooking class Furious Spoon a few weeks ago, and it happened yesterday. The class included a beautiful ingredients kit, plus I added some sake bombs to make it extra fun. The only downside, if you could even call it a downside, is that we had to figure out how to do Instagram Live, as both of us are old and therefor unable to properly ‘Gram. We had to google it. But! We persevered and made some delicious ramen. Fun fact: I bought this for Scott for Father’s Day thinking that Father’s Day was yesterday. It is not, you guys. Father’s Day is next week. So I still need a gift.
I also told you about this tent I was into. I almost bought it and then didn’t know if I wanted to spend $589 on a tent. It's not like I'm going to Burning Man. So I bought this one instead and feel very confident in my decision. Ryan and I are going to try it out next week by spending one night at this campground in Indiana. What could go wrong?
Oh, and remember the inflatable hot tub? Yeah, we didn’t do that. But we did buy this above ground pool! Oh, this is a boondoggle, you guys. You see, it’s not just the pool. It has a filter and a pump, you have to put chlorine in it and test the water and do something called “shocking” it once a week. It’s a whole thing. Luckily, Scott is being much more supportive of this crazy endeavor than I thought he would be, and has been watching YouTube videos about how to shock one’s pool. We need to go to the pool supply store for chemicals, and will be attempting to put this whole thing together this week. I’ll keep you posted.
And now to the business at hand. In no particular order, here is your linkage:
1.) Scott mentioned the other day that he wanted to try cooking octopus. I gave him a rather unenthusiastic “Hmmm,” assuming that the plan wouldn’t go anywhere. But when he brought it up again, I had to say something. “I don’t want to eat octopus ever again,” I said. “They have souls.” Scott was like, what are you even talking about. I came across this fact when I linked to a review of a book about eels, and once I’d read it and I couldn't unread it. I also maybe want a pet octopus. If anyone wants to point out that pigs might also have souls, I would like to put my fingers in my hears and sing a hearty “La la la,” because bacon.
2.) If you are a kid right now, things pretty much suck. Ryan’s overnight camp was canceled. We decided not to put her in day camp. I’m almost certain that Kai hasn’t been outside in weeks, and even then it was to get his hair cut and then go back inside. I’ve been looking at virtual camps for both kids, and found this. You can buy the tinker kit and the class is free with it. I thought it looked cool, but Kai was unimpressed because he’s not sure it’s for, and I quote, “teens.” I thought we’d try it out anyway, at least for one day, because as God as my witness he’s not spending the summer laying in bed watching YouTube.
We all know that’s a lie.
3.) Years ago, like before kids, Scott and I had Cops Happy Hour on Saturday nights, in which we would have drinks and watch the show Cops. We would have fun predicting who would go to jail (hint: it’s always the guy with his shirt off) and making fun of the cops’ hair cuts and shitty sunglasses and feeling vaguely sorry for the cameramen who were always out of breath after a chase. We tried a few years ago to do another Cops Happy Hour and it was just so hard to watch. In the wake of Eric Garner and Michael Brown and Laquan McDonald it simply wasn’t funny or enjoyable in any way. Turns out I’m not the only one who felt that way. Good riddance to a bad narrative.
We watch a lot of Bar Rescue instead.
4.) Dave Chappelle dropped a special on YouTube last Friday called 8:46, in reference to the length of time Derek Chauvin had his knee on George Floyd’s neck. We watched it over the weekend. I was reminded about the time Dave Chappelle was on Saturday Night Live telling us uncomfortable truths in the wake of the 2016 election. For dessert, we enjoyed Charlie Murphy talking about Rick James, which never gets old.
5.) Did you know that foxes are domesticating themselves in England? They’re making themselves cuter in ways that appeal to humans, which isn’t working for American raccoons. Or is it? But hey, let’s see whatcha got, English foxes. There are a lot of ladies my age who would probably be into it.
Find someone who robs the rich to feed the poor, and then looks at you like this.
I've always been a sucker for the bad boys.
-PDM
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